"The Secret"/G*d is ALWAYS on time, I had forgotten that. He reminded me :)

I love books. All books, about any subject. If I didn't have a book I would read boxes in the pantry. Somehow, along the way I stopped reading these past two years. What a shame. Years ago, I purchased the book "The Secret". I was working 16 hour days with a 40 minute one way commute. I thought it would bolster me to know a secret. I didn't have time to read it.

I found the book tonight looking for something else. The first paragraph reads as follows:
  A year ago, my life had collapsed around me. I'd worked myself into exhaustion, my father died suddenly, and my relationships with my work colleagues and loved ones were in turmoil.

This parallels my life exactly! Every sentence. The only thing that was left out was lupus, heart disease, 5 ruptured discs due to a work injury, and being fired for filing a work comp claim. It goes on to say "Little did I know at the time, out of my greatest despair was to come the greatest gift".

Now I hear angels singing and a smile in my heart. A tiny flutter of joy- could that be hope??? After two years? Yes I am going to have to put off my Black History and Lithuania studies for a week while I digest this book, but I believe there are no coincidences. I believe G*d is always on time. This seems to tie in to my status yesterday about being a rubber band and being stretched. Oh I hope so! I am ready to get Julie back!

At random outside a Little Rock hospital I stopped, I hurt and needed to rest a second. I looked down, and this is what I saw. How many times does G*d have to bonk me on my head??? I suppose because I haven't had the easiest of lives (money does NOT equal happiness) I like control in all things. Also, when I broke into my industry there were NO female supervisors, so I had to exert control and fight. I had parents who, although well intentioned, were controlling. Had to fight for independence on that front. So, I have a hard time handing over the ropes and letting go and letting G*d.

After a long two years, I have a spark of hope :) I have noticed I have visitors on my little blog, and knowing I am being heard is SO therapeutic! It warms my heart after so many let downs that someone would take the time to read. I am journaling, and hope to use all of this to help others someday. Thank you and may G*d richly bless you for taking time to read my blog. Eventually as more read I will be doing a little give away, of a few books that helped me, handcrafted bookmarks, stationary sets, makeup, fun things that make me happy and hope it will others.

Goodnight. Tomorrow is another day, and I am actually LOOKING FORWARD to it! That doesn't happen often, unless it is a day with my BFF which are few and far between.